That's me. I'm fast. I'm the perfect storm of caffeine and genetics.
This tastes pink. Really pink. It's really bad; it's like drinking My Little Pony.
Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch.
Well, then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business.
Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants!
I know it's not a nightmare 'cause I have shoes on & in my nightmares I never have on shoes.
Do you miss the Gilmores? How about some of your favorite quotes?
Fancy Kiwi-Strawberry Pop Tarts
They’re fancy pop tarts because they aren’t like anything you’ll get in the grocery store. More like a hand pie than a pop tart, these have a buttery crust and flavorful filling. Feel free to substitute your favorite filling! Top them off with some neon pink and green icing and your tart is complete! (Okay, I might have gone a little overboard with the pink food coloring, I was trying for something a little more subtle.)
2 cups strawberries
1 kiwi, peeled & diced
1 tbsp sugar
5 tbsp cold butter
3 tbsp cold shortening
1 1/3 cups flour
1 tbsp sugar
¼ tsp salt
4 tbsp ice cold water
Combine strawberries, kiwi and 1 tbsp sugar in a small saucepan. Heat to medium-low until the fruit softens. Mash with a fork or puree with an immersion blender. Keep on the stovetop until fruit thickens and bubbles. Set aside to cool before adding to the tarts.
Mix together flour, sugar and salt. Either cut in the butter and shortening with a pastry cutter, two forks or pulse together in a food processor. Slowly add water, one tablespoon at a time, until the dough comes together. You don’t want it too wet.
Form the dough into a square and wrap in plastic wrap. Chill in the fridge for at least an hour.
Heavily flour the countertop and roll out dough to 1/8-inch thick. Cut rectangles, any size you like. Place half of the rectangles on a parchment or silpat-lined baking sheet. Add 1-2 tbsp filling and spread over the center of the crust (stay about ½-inch away from the edge). Top with a second piece of dough. Crimp edges with a fork and pierce the center to allow steam to escape.
Heat oven to 400 and bake tarts for 13-15 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on a wire rack. They need to be completely cool before adding icing.
1 egg white
6 oz powdered sugar
¼ tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
Mix ingredients together until they form a paste. Add your color and mix! Transfer a small amount to a piping bag and pipe an edge around the tart. Thin the remaining icing with a small amount of water, just until when you draw a line down the center of the icing it melts back together in 10 seconds. Flood the center of the tart and spread the icing around with a toothpick. Add another color of icing (if you want) before the first color dries. This will allow the second color to sink into the first. Allow to dry overnight or enjoy right away!